If I don’t say anything in a conversation, it’s because I haven’t thought of the perfect thing to say. If I spend an hour getting ready for work, it’s not because I need to shower and do my make-up, but it’s because I haven’t chosen the exactly right outfit for the day. These are just two examples of why I think of myself as a perfectionist.
Truthfully, I’ve never thought of myself this way until recently – I’ve always felt like I was laid-back and go-with-the-flow. But I really have massive anxiety about making the right decision at the right place at the right time so that things go just the way I want, no matter what the decision is concerning – clothing, career choices, what to eat, etc.
I’m not saying that being a perfectionist is a good or bad thing . It’s good to be picky at times because I feel like it means that I know exactly what I want. However, a lot of the time, it makes me even more indecisive because I want to many things. It’s unrealistic.
My life will never be perfect – I make completely wrong decisions all the time, I am always changing, and things don’t always go as planned.
At this moment, I am thinking that I need to think of every moment as “perfect” – it’s the perfect time to wear that new dress, it’s the perfect time to keep watching my TV shows, it’s the perfect time to write, and it’s the perfect time to start something extraordinary.